January 4th, 2018
As alcoholics, we suffer from an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind. Our problem lies not in our drinking but in our thinking, for our thinking is completely warped and nothing ever satisfies us. Most of what we do is done in excess but despite our every effort we are perpetually unfulfilled because we always want more.
In our addiction, we constantly pushed the boundaries of our physical endurance and tolerance to drugs and alcohol. One drink was good, but two or three was better; a few pills would do the trick, but more would yield greater results; you’re only doing a few lines?—why not a whole eight-ball? At a certain point, however, our tolerance to substances increased so much that they stopped working. We wanted more still, but how can we ever achieve that perfect level of contentment when more is not enough?
When coming to recovery, we discover that “more” does not always mean “better”. More exercise does not necessarily mean better health—we need to be emotionally and mentally in shape, as well as physically fit; more resentments on our Fourth Step does not necessarily mean better recognition of our faults—everyone is going to have a differing amount of entries on their Fourth Step and the willingness to learn from our experiences is what helps us to recover from our anger and insecurities; more meetings does not necessarily mean better recovery—practicing the principles of twelve step programs in all aspects of our lives is what sobriety is all about.
More was never enough while active in addiction; but now that we are in recovery, we learn patience and acceptance of the things over which we have no power. We eventually come to discover that regardless of what we want, sobriety promises that we will always get what we need, no more and no less.
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